Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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