i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
