but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
