I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
