I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
