u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
