weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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