We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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