Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
