I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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