she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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