I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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