think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
