Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
