okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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