Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
