I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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