Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
