Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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