I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
