when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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