Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
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Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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