I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
