id be glad to
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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