could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize