I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
