i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
