Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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