you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Everything about him screamed your future.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
