WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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