Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
