if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
