it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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