Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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