WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is the high leading the old right now
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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