He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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