i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
