Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
