I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
