my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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