did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She is in my trunk
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
