he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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