Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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