I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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