Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if only i could text you this smell
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
