I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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