Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
