What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
