It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
