is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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