I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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