Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
