You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
