I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You made out with two different species that night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize