Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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