I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
