You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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