I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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