i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I had to cum in my sink.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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