K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
